Thursday, September 23, 2010

1/2 x my heart

Surrounded by strangers I felt at home. Complete. Like a sentence at the end of a fairytale. An exhaled breath in the middle of a full moon. Surrounded by strangers I felt like me. Also a stranger. A person whose smile I failed to recognise before. A smile worth a thousand unwritten words. Words that will never do justice to any emotion or feeling felt. Emotions forever locked inside one living pumping happy heart.

The empty void is finally gone. So is the excruciating pain inside your chest. And all you had to do was believe. Yes, believe. People always seem to find the idealist side of me very naive. They say it's unhealthy, like a parasite eating away at your insides, or like having a full English breakfast for dinner. You get the picture. But the truth is, being an idealist, as "crazy" as it may be, is so much more fulfilling than being a realist. There is way too much real in this world.

I dreamt and never stopped. And somewhere along the way, somewhere in between the beginning and the end of this beautiful journey, those dreams came true. And my heart was hooked. Happy replaced sad. Peace defeated anger. Now, I find myself wanting to taste every drop. Now, I find myself eager to live. Life. Beautiful. Exhilarating. The stranger has become my new best friend.

But, like everything else in life with a time limit, this journey is now coming to an end, and the hardest part of it all is slowly approaching. Because this right here is real, what awaits me is real, and no dream is ever going to be good enough. No bubble big enough. And even though half of my heart wants to stay and keep on dreaming, the other half is either drunk, numb, or slowly awakening to the reality of it all. The bitter, bitter sweet reality. It's time to say goodbye buddy.

Or maybe a see you later (the happy idealist).


P.S. I want to thank every single stranger (now a friend) I met on this journey; for every shared bedroom, beer, conversation, dinner, or any other thing we might have shared. Thank you for letting me see the world through your eyes, a world that is filled with so many beautiful people, both inside and out. And if we never meet again, I hope you'll have the most amazing life. A life as amazing as this summer.

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