Saturday, October 16, 2010

When A Heart Stops Beating

The silence is deafening. October rain after three months of sunshine. Memories of a life lived. Because life is for the living. But then, before you know it, your heart stops beating. Just like that.

The most obscure side to life is death. The not knowing kills me. Pun intended. Some religions believe in an afterlife, others believe in reincarnation. I believe it's complicated, and that it was designed to be that way. As a scientist I'm used to looking for answers and finding them, but as it turns out, some questions are insurmountable, too big for us earthlings to handle. An incomplete jigsaw puzzle.

And as the pictures start to fade away, you try to hold on to what's left. The empty wooden chair. The half filled glass of wine. A Cuban cigar after it has been put out. Because saying goodbye is never easy, but sometimes, that's the only thing left for you to do. You could also write about it, hoping that sooner or later the sadness will go away, much like the man who yesterday lived and today doesn't.

And if you're reading this, don't feel sorry, and don't give me your condolences. Instead, just promise me one thing. Promise me you'll start living. Give yourself a moment and start breathing. Love the people in your life. Wipe that frown off your face and smile. Laugh at even the silliest things. Promise me, no, promise yourself, that from now on, you'll live, love and laugh..

Until your heart stops beating.

Just like that.

Nann, wherever you are, and whatever is happening to you right now, I hope you know I loved you. And if life really flashes before your eyes, I hope the cinema experience included a bowl of popcorn. I also hope it was worth the watch.

I don't know if I will ever see you again, but just in case I don't, I wanted you to know (provided you have internet access) that it has been great having you as my grandfather. The stories told will always be in my heart. Finally, may you rest in peace.