Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Beginning of the End (a Letter)

Dear you,

For reasons you will soon come to understand, I shall not be divulging my identity straight away. If I do, it might change the way you look at this letter, and I don't want that. Do not try to understand what I am about to spew here, because between you and me, I'm not even sure I know myself. Writing this is not even remotely close to my idea of fun, but the chief/s in command, who I never had the pleasure of officially meeting, asked me to, just in case. So here I am, making this up as I go. If at some point, I become incoherent and you find yourself lost, bear with me. Contrary to popular belief, I may not be cut out for this. Still, I think I owe it to you, and myself, to try.

If I am to be totally honest though, I don't fathom what you are even doing on the list. You see, you are not the only one I am sending a letter to. Way before the rumours started, I was provided with a long list of names, of which you are the first privileged enough to be contacted. But like I said, I don't know why you, of all people, are on it. I have been trying very hard to grasp the meaning and intent behind this random selection. In a feeble attempt to digest this assignment, I even took the liberty to take a quick peek at your past, and surprisingly enough, you check out. Yes, you may have stumbled on your own two feet a couple of times, but overall, you are what I would consider a regular, and a pretty lucky one too, if you allow me to say so myself.

So here is where my dilemma lies. On the one hand, I was told to atone for a sin that I haven't even committed yet (and probably won't for a really long time, if ever), and on the other, my gut is telling me to direct my last remaining energy source elsewhere, in view of the hypothetical bigger picture that is as yet obscure. Because if the predictions about me are true, then I guess it won't matter, but if they're not, well, then I guess you will be far better off pretending that my imminence is real. Which is why I have opted to go with my metaphoric, yet still very intuitive, gut.

Having decided so, it is not my intention, and definitely not my place, to meddle with how you decide to live your life, especially since you seem to be doing so well on your own. However, I couldn't help but notice a somewhat disturbing trend over the past few years. You are probably too wrapped up in your own head to realise, but those silly little things that used to put a smile on your face everyday, don't anymore. You have also become numb to the emotions that once made you cry. And yes, while I do understand that things don't always have to stay the same, I don't see why they shouldn't.

Why shouldn't you succumb to the beauty that surrounds you? Why shouldn't you evaporate in the kaleidoscopic sun as it plays hide and seek with the quiet, majestic birds and the fleecy, evergreen trees? Why shouldn't you immerse yourself in the sweet symphony that accompanies the incandescent lights emanating from the tall buildings as they make their way down into the river crossing the city? Why shouldn't you let the warm wind, barging in from the car windows, thaw your heavy beating heart? Tell me, why shouldn't you? And don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about here. Because you and I both know that you do.

But listen, like I said, I do not intend to give you a hard time. It's just that some people have been living their lives as though my existence is absolute, but not you. Mind you, I'm not saying that you should, but you have been cruising through life pretending I don't matter. But in my own way, I do. I do matter. Irrespective of whether I'm still around at the end of this week, or at the end of the century.

I do matter. Whether you choose to believe me or not, is ultimately up to you.

the End of the World

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